Today

"Having four kids is like you're drowning and then somebody hands you a baby." -Jim Gaffigan

 

5 years ago I would have felt like I was drowning.

Now I'm just laughing my head of and taking lots of pictures...lots and lots of pictures :) 

 

 

My day today went as follows:

7:15 - Wake up. Get Big Girl ready for school. Feed the baby.

7:30 - change baby's diaper. Baby pees all over. Get baby cleaned up. Put diaper on baby. Diaper strap breaks. Get new diaper. Baby pees all over AGAIN. Scrap that - plan B. Give baby a bath.

7:40 - Big baby wakes up and starts crying from her crib. Take little baby out of bath and get him dried and diapered. Get big baby out of crib. Big baby had a diaper malfunction in the night and is SOAKED TO THE BONE.

7:45 - Send Big Girl out the door to hitch a ride to the bus stop with the neighbors (thanks La) as it is still 6 degrees below zero. (Give me a break. No one ever really walked uphill both ways in 6 feet of snow did they?)

7:50 - Throw big baby in the tub and get her cleaned up.

8:15 - everyone clean, dry, clothed, fed and happy. Nap time yet? No? Okay.

10:00 - Big baby is a little too quiet. Look around to see what's going on. Find big baby in little baby's bassinet with Desitin that I had forgotten to put away lock up from this morning's fiasco. Now she looks like a clown in training. Get big baby cleaned up.

10:15 call poison control just to be safe. By the cheerful giggle in the lady's voice I could tell this was not the first phone call of this kind. May have a little diarrhea. (So if that happens should I use Desitin? Just checking...)

 

Nap time yet?

 

The rest of the day included taking the Bigs to a birthday party, taking the Biggest to the doctor (sinus infection), picking up the Bigs, drive through for dinner, Walgreens for drugs (twice), and getting everyone snuggly tucked in bed.

 

Including me.

 

Hooooonk shhhooooooooo............

the Littles

"Hey Bubba. I'll trade ya. Your binki for my Gott (dog)."

"No really. You'll love it! It's so soft and fuzzy - see?!"

"Here. Why don't you snuggle with him for a while and see if you like him. I'll just hold the binki for you..."

I love these Littles. I love my family. What a miracle - the family. I stand truly all amazed at the love and wisdom of God and His plan of happiness. I mean how else in the world would we receive such concentrated, continuous, perfectly orchestrated lessons on how to love and share and give and serve and work and have patience and faith and compassion?! One of the biggest blessings our little Caleb brought with him from Heaven was an absolute knowledge that Heavenly Father knows each of my children. Isn't that funny? I mean I knew he knew me. And I knew he knew Paul. But I never really thought about the fact that he knows each one of my kids - and LOVES each one of my kids - infinitely more than I do. That was such a relief and peaceful reassurance. I have watched the Lord temper the hearts of my kids and prepare them for their baby brother to come. I really worried about having another baby so soon after Abby (they are 15 months apart) but Heavenly Father knew exactly what this family needed and when we needed it. He has helped the Bigs to literally grow up overnight. They have become such good helpers and have a sixth sense of when Mom needs a break. They happily take Abby downstairs and play games while I rest and feed the baby. They are more quick to help when I ask and they are taking their new "big kid" responsibilities in stride. It is a miracle to watch the Lord work in their lives. Not only is he helping them to adjust, but he is helping the BIG baby to adjust as well. When we first brought Caleb home Abby wasn't so sure about him. She cried a bit and snuggled a lot more than usual. But she warmed up to him faster than I expected. It was almost like, "Hey! I remember you! Welcome home buddy!"As you can see she is quickly teaching him to share...whether he likes it or not. I guess this whole thing is a miracle to me because I thought I was going to have to do it all. I thought Heavenly Father was going to help me to adjust, and then I in turn would help the kids to adjust. It never really occurred to me that HE would help THEM to adjust. But that's the beauty and miracle - once again - of the family. We learn that ALL of God's children are important to him and he is just as present in the lives of my kids as he is in mine - if not more so! I love my Bigs. And I love my Littles. And I love the man I get to share them with for eternity. My cup runneth over.

"There there little Bubba. You'll be big like me soon."

 

"What did you ask Santa for?...Do you know who Santa is?

"Don't worry Mom. I got this. Go take a nap."

(I love this picture. It's a perfect snapshot of our life right now - big baby, little baby!)

Caleb Joseph Gardner

 

Caleb Joseph Gardner

Born November 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm weighing 6 lbs 11 oz and stretching 19.5 inches

 

He's here! (Well, he got here 7 weeks ago but the documentation had to take a back seat for a while.) After a wonderful (long) pregnancy our sweet boy finally made his appearance. The delivery went perfect just like it did with his big sister - I mean we are talking total dejavu. It was wonderful. We went in to the hospital at 7:00 that morning, Dr. B came in to discuss the plan for the day, then D came in to start the epidural. Can I say it's great to personally know everyone who took care of me? Dr. B is so fantastic I told Paul we needed to get all our kids here to our family before he retires cause once he's gone I'm done. My anesthetist is in our stake (and used to be in our ward) and so Paul and I chatted away while he started my epidural. My nurses were also my colleagues. I love working at the hospital. As a nurse we don't play favorites to patients and treat everyone equally, but I sure felt like they all gave me the special treatment. So once the epidural was started Dr. B broke my water and put a scalp electrode on the baby's head to monitor him closely. After having a C-section with Ben all future deliveries have to be monitored much more closely. Once that was set we settled in and waited.

 

The time from 10:00 till about 1:30 was a very special sacred spiritual time. The veil was very thin and heaven was in the room. Its a hard thing to put into words, maybe because it's not meant to be put into words. It was a holy, tangible, spirit speaking to spirit moment I will never forget.

 

At about 1:30 my nurse came in to check me and said, "WHOA! THERE HE IS!! DON'T PUSH!" She grabbed her cell phone and called Dr. B. He asked if there was time for him to see one more patient and she said, "NOPE! You better get here NOW!" He was there in 2 minutes. I would have never known he came all the way from the clinic.

 

Long story short (too late) - two pushes and he was here! Our sweet baby boy!

 

That night I sat in awe looking at this new sweet little spirit who had come into our lives. The miracle of creation and the miracle of life is something I will never understand and always be so very grateful for. I stroked Caleb's feather soft rust colored hair. I let his fingers wrap around mine. LOOK AT THOSE HUGE HANDS. I mean really - this kid can palm a golf ball. We have high hopes for his future :) The sweet little sounds, the yawns and sneezes and hiccups, the sweet peace. There is nothing like it in the world. I feel overwhelmed by the blessing it is to be a mother. No matter how they come into our lives, children are a miracle.

Coming home was...interesting. It took its toll on my emotions. I felt safe in the hospital, plenty of people to be there at a moments notice. I had 3 more kids at home, one still being so tiny herself. Would they be okay? Would she be okay? Would I be okay? I was worried. But that worry quickly disappeared as I realized that Heaven was still here with us, and even more abundant within the walls of our home. Heavenly Father loves these kids infinitely more than we ever could. These siblings loved each other before they even came to earth. They will take care of each other, and we will take care of them...and they will take care of us.

 

For the first few weeks Caleb was known as "the baby brother" because we don't tell the baby's name until they are here. And since he had been known as "the baby brother" for many months before his birth the name stuck. It was hilarious.

Ben: "Mom, I think the baby bwotho needs to be fed because the baby bwotho is cwying."

Now that nickname has been shortened to "bruth" by Ben and "bubba" by Abby.

 

We are so thankful our little Caleb Baby is here at last. Welcome to the crew Sweet Boy!

2012 Recap

So apparently my life as I knew it went out the window (along with this blog) because I sit here feeling extremely overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with gratitude.
Overwhelmed with exhaustion.
Overwhelmed with laundry.
Overwhelmed with laughter.
Overwhelmed with baby talk.
Overwhelmed with laundry.
Overwhelmed with love.
Overwhelmed with budgeting.
Overwhelmed with laundry.
OVERWHELMED WITH JOY.

Here is a quick recap of the year 2012 that I (hope to) blog about someday

Top 10 of 2012

10) Paul's 2 half marathons
9) Elder Nate returns from Canada
8) Moab
7) Family vacation to PORTLAND
6) Act in Doctrine
5) Hermana Sylvia heads out to Honduras
4) Rachel starts first grade, Ben starts preschool
3) Fun family time
2) Our first ever very own Thanksgiving and Christmas
1) BABY CALEB!!

So until I can write posts about each of these overwhelmingly wonderful experiences of 2012 I'll leave with this little Christmas gem. :)

STAY WARM!

A growing family

 Here is our little crew. I can't believe how fast time flies.

These little kidlets grew up over night.

And this baby girl turned 1 yesterday!

Which is a good thing because her baby brother will be joining us soon.

And I think he's going to look just like his big brother.

It has been a whirlwind year, but the best year ever. And as our little crew gets bigger, we are filled with gratitude for the adventures our little family has been blessed with and for the many adventures yet to come.

Little Darlings

Somehow we pulled a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead

out of our gene pool hat.

 HOW ON EARTH did we get so lucky!?!

Love these little goofballs!

Ben

Note to self:

Never leave the Bud unattended with a grown up game in close proximity...

One Million Card Pickup anyone?

Ugh.

Valentine's Party

Last weekend we had a Valentine's party.

It looked a little like this:

And a little like that:

And tasted kind of like this:

We played silly couples games and laughed pretty hard.

But the prize of the night goes to Paul's second counselor

who brought these as his "hors doeuvre" assignment:

McDoubles. AWESOME.

6 Months

She's 6 Months Old!!

(14.1 lbs, 25 inches)

 And look what she can do!!

 HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!

I JUST BROUGHT HER HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!

 Her loveliest of features are for sure her eyes - they are so breathtaking and these pictures do NOT do them justice.

(although her cheekers are a really close second on the cuteness scale)

Happy 6 Month Birthday Baby Girl!
Thank you for bringing so much JOY to our family!!

WE LOVE YOU!!

Becoming

Ever since I attended Time-Out for Women last fall I have been consumed by the idea of "becoming."

Becoming the mother my children need me to be.

Becoming the wife my husband already sees in me.

Becoming the person that my Heavenly Father, in His divine plan,

has promised is my potential because I am His daughter.

It has consumed my thoughts in the early hours of the morning as I cuddle her:

It has consumed my thoughts in the daily tasks of feeding and clothing and entertaining these two:

It has consumed my thoughts as I discuss things of mortality and things of eternity with the one I share them with:

It has consumed my thoughts and guided my course as I study this:

and this:

And then today I stumbled upon THIS.

Which I am convinced was not by accident.

Because it has been a HUGE stumbling block in my "becoming" process and for some reason putting a label on it helps me to learn how to step around it. Kind of like a spiritual warning sign that says "THIS IS THE HOLE YOU KEEP GETTING YOUR FOOT STUCK IN SO DON'T STEP HERE!!"

I love THIS talk about spiritual warning signs.

So today I am choosing to be awesome. Today I am stepping around the stumbling blocks and choosing to move forward trusting that the Holy Ghost will be my personal "becoming" guide.

I know he will - he hasn't led me astray yet.