Have you ever seen that show? The one where the design team and building crew choose a deserving family and send them on a vacation while they demolish and rebuild their home...it's a tear
jerker every time.
The family in the last episode was an amazing one. Father and Mother were both deaf. They had 2 sons - one who was 14 with no disabilities, and one who was 10 who was both blind and autistic. So basically the 14 year old son was the eyes, ears, and mouth piece for his whole family. See - you are crying already aren't you.
During the building process one of the designers made a comment that she couldn't believe the outstanding LOVE that existed in this family. She said that she ENVIED that love.
That made me think. If they offered her the chance to live with those challenges do you think she'd take them - HECK NO. I wouldn't either. And yet - it is BECAUSE of those challenges they have and the way they face them together that they DO feel that outstanding love and support from each other. You can't have the good without having the bad. And by BAD I don't mean WRONG. You don't need to commit every sin in the book to know the power of repentance. But the truth is, the times in my life when I have felt the most love and support have been the times when life is hard. Moves. Births. Miscarriages. Deaths. Let me make something else very clear - it's not that I don't feel loved and supported in the easy times too - quite the contrary. It's just that when you are cut down to your very core and it seems like the night is going to drag on forever - all the little things mean so much more. I remember standing at my in-laws' door, accepting dinner for them from a sweet woman in their ward, and sobbing thinking, "The human race has not gone to pot! How on earth could these people be SO NICE to my family?! AM I REALLY CRYING OVER CASSEROLE?!" Yes I was.
So when we RECOGNIZE that true greatness rises from the ashes of trial and tragedy, why don't we embrace challenge more? I'm not saying we all become martyrs, I'm just saying why do I shy away from things that are hard? Why am I so afraid of having my heart strings tugged a little?
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said it best -
"How can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, 'Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!'" Ensign May 1991.
Last fall I suffered a miscarriage. I wasn't far along, and it definetly wasn't the end of the world - but it was hard. We were excited and so were the kids. It was very disappointing to sit as a family in the ultrasound room ready to show the kids their new baby sibling on the screen only to find nothing there. No hands, no toes, no heart beat. And yet as hard as it was, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the whole world. Our ward reached out to us in love and kindness in ways I can't express. We got to hang with my mom for a week which was a wonderful experience for all of us. We took a spontaneous trip to Denver to process everything that was happening and ended up making an amazing life long family memory. And most important of all, I gained an appreciation for my wonderful husband and my sweet sweet children that I just didn't have before. That was a trial that made me realize how truly blessed I am and what a miracle it really is that I have TWO happy healthy children.
So to the sweet designer on Extreme Makeover - no. You will never feel the same love which that particular family feels. But you and I and all of us CAN feel a similar love - a love that will be tailored specifically for us. A love that only permiates when we are pushed to our very limit - the love of a Savior who has descended below all and therefore has the ability to lift us through anything.
I just hope that when the trials DO come, I can keep perspective and TRUST in a LOVING Heavenly Father who knows what winds need to blow in my life to keep me on a course of Love and Learning and Eternal Life.